Psikologi Transformatif: [psikologi_transformatif] Re: The Honeymoon that Never Ends

pikiran edun, ini khan balik lagi ke ilmunya cleopatra? bikin susah
aja, sampai ngorbanin Julius Caesar, dan penggantinya. namanya
edun, ya begini.

ini mah kalau kata orang tua dulu:

bagaimana caranya menjadi istri muda, ngalahin istri beneran

salam,
goen

--- In psikologi_transformatif@yahoogroups.com, Angga Wijaya
<anggaji@...> wrote:
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> The Honeymoon that Never Ends
> by Osho
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> LOVE IS NOT A RELATIONSHIP. Love relates, but it
is not a relationship. A relationship is something
finished. A relationship is a noun; the full stop has come,
the honeymoon is over. Now there is no joy, no enthusiasm, now all
is finished. You can carry it on, just to keep your
promises. You can carry it on because it is comfortable,
convenient, cozy. You can carry it on because there is
nothing else to do. You can carry it on because if you
disrupt it, it is going to create much trouble for you…
Relationship means something complete, finished, closed.
>
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> Love is never a relationship; love is relating. It is
always a river, flowing, unending. Love knows no full stop;
the honeymoon begins but never ends. It is not like a novel
that starts at a certain point and ends at a certain point.
It is an ongoing phenomenon. Lovers end, love continues– it
is a continuum. It is a verb, not a noun.
>
>
> And why do we reduce the beauty of relating to
relationship? Why are we in such a hurry? Because to relate
is insecure, and relationship is a security. Relationship
has a certainty; relating is just a meeting of two
strangers, maybe just an overnight stay and in the morning we
say goodbye. Who knows what is going to happen tomorrow?
And we are so afraid that we want to make it certain, we
want to make it predictable. We would like tomorrow to be
according to our ideas; we don't allow it freedom to have
its own say. So we immediately reduce every verb to a noun.
>
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> You are in love with a woman or a man and immediately you
start thinking of getting married. Make it a legal
contract. Why? How does the law come into love? The law
comes into love because love is not there. It is only a
fantasy, and you know the fantasy will disappear. Before it
disappears settle down, before it disappears do something
so it becomes impossible to separate.
>
>
> In a better world, with more meditative people, with a
little more enlightenment spread over the earth, people
will love, love immensely, but their love will remain a
relating not a relationship. And I am not saying that their
love will be only momentary. There is every possibility their love
may go deeper than your love, may have a higher quality of
intimacy, may have something more of poetry and more of
godliness in it. And there is every possibility their love
may last longer than your so-called relationship ever
lasts. But it will not be guaranteed by the law, by the court,
by the policeman. The guarantee will be inner. It will be a
commitment from the heart, it will be a silent communion.
>
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> If you enjoy being with somebody, you would like to enjoy
it more and more. If you enjoy the intimacy, you would like
to explore the intimacy more and more. And there are a few
flowers of love which bloom only after long intimacies.
There are seasonal flowers too; within six weeks they are
there, in the sun, but within six weeks again they are gone
forever. There are flowers that take years to come, and
there are flowers that take many years to come. The longer
it takes, the deeper it goes. But it has to be a commitment
from one heart to another heart. It has not even to be
verbalized, because to verbalize it is to profane it. It
has to be a silent commitment; eye to eye, heart to heart,
being to being. It has to be understood, not said.
>
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> Forget relationships and learn how to relate.
>
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> Once you are in a relationship you start taking each
other for granted– that's what destroys all love affairs.
The woman thinks she knows the man, the man thinks he knows
the woman. Nobody knows either! It is impossible to know
the other, the other remains a mystery. And to take the
other for granted is insulting, disrespectful.
>
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> To think that you know your wife is very, very
ungrateful. How can you know the woman? How can you know
the man? They are processes, they are not things. The woman
that you knew yesterday is not there today. So much water
has gone down the Ganges; she is somebody else, totally
different. Relate again, start again, don't take it for
granted.
>
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> And the man that you slept with last night, look at his
face again in the morning. He is no more the same person,
so much has changed. So much, incalculably much has
changed. That is the difference between a thing and a
person. The furniture in the room is the same, but the man and
the woman, they are no more the same. Explore again, start
again. That's what I mean by relating.
>
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> Relating means you are always starting, you are
continuously trying to become acquainted. Again and again,
you are introducing yourself to each other. You are trying
to see the many facets of the other's personality. You are
trying to penetrate deeper and deeper into his realm of
inner feelings, into the deep recesses of his being. You
are trying to unravel a mystery which cannot be unraveled.
That is the joy of love: the exploration of consciousness.
>
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> And if you relate, and don't reduce it to a relationship,
then the other will become a mirror to you. Exploring him,
unawares you will be exploring yourself too. Getting deeper
into the other, knowing his feelings, his thoughts, his
deeper stirrings, you will be knowing your own deeper
stirrings too. Lovers become mirrors to each other, and
then love becomes a meditation. Relationship is ugly,
relating is beautiful.
>
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> Hence I say relate. By saying relate, I mean remain
continuously on a honeymoon. Go on searching and seeking
each other, finding new ways of loving each other, finding
new ways of being with each other. And each person is such
an infinite mystery, inexhaustible, unfathomable, that it
is not possible that you can ever say, "I have known her,"
or, "I have known him." At the most you can say, "I have
tried my best, but the mystery remains a mystery."
>
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> In fact the more you know, the more mysterious the other
becomes. Then love is a constant adventure.
>
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> This article originally appeared in Creations, Feb./March
2002, and was reprinted with permission from Love, Freedom,
and Aloneness: A New Vision of Relating, from St. Martin's
Press,2001.
> To listen to this and many of Osho's talks, visit:
www.osho.com/talks/audio/htm Other books by Osho are
published by St. Martin's Press and CW Daniel. There is a
large selection on the Internet, or ask for Osho titles in
your local bookstore.
>
> source: http://www.creationsmagazine.com/articles/C100/Osho.html
>
>
> ---------------------------------
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